7 Signs you’re not the main character in your own life

Utweets
4 Min Read

There’s something magnetic about the idea of being the “main character” in your own story. It means living with purpose, taking up space unapologetically, and steering your life instead of watching from the sidelines.

Yet, many people unintentionally drift into supporting roles in their narratives, letting others dictate the plot. Sometimes, it’s not about lacking ambition but about subtle habits and patterns that quietly push you out of the spotlight.

If you’ve ever felt like life is happening to you instead of because of you, it might be time to check if you’re centre stage or just a background extra in your film. Here are seven signs to look out for.

1. You Constantly Seek Approval Before Acting

If your decisions hinge on whether people will approve, you’ve likely handed over your script. Seeking advice is healthy, but when you can’t move forward without validation, you become a secondary player in your life’s plot. Main characters lead; they don’t wait for permission to exist.

2. Your Days Are Filled with Other People’s Priorities

When your time, energy, and focus are consumed by everyone else’s demands, you’re playing the role of “supporting cast.” While helping others is admirable, your goals and dreams deserve as much space on the calendar as theirs. The main character’s storyline should not be an afterthought.

3. You Struggle to Say No

Saying “yes” to everything often means saying “no” to yourself. The inability to set boundaries is a fast track to living out someone else’s plotline. Main characters understand that not every opportunity aligns with their story arc.

4. You Downplay Your Achievements

If you minimise your wins or brush them off as luck, you’re shrinking your presence in the story. Main characters own their success without arrogance because they understand it is part of their narrative’s growth.

5. You Wait for the ‘Perfect Time’ to Start

Endlessly postponing your goals because you’re waiting for better conditions is a sign you’ve slipped into the role of a spectator. Main characters step forward even when the timing isn’t perfect because they know the story only moves when they do.

6. You Let Others Define You

If your identity is built solely on how others see you, be it through family expectations, societal standards, or social media perception, you’ve let someone else write your character description. Main characters create their own identity and let the world adjust to it.

7. You Live on Autopilot

Going through the motions without questioning your routines can be a comfortable trap. But comfort zones rarely produce compelling storylines. Main characters embrace curiosity, take risks, and keep their plot moving forward.

Life doesn’t hand out starring roles, you claim them. Being the main character isn’t about arrogance or always being in the spotlight; it’s about ownership. It’s deciding that your dreams, values, and voice matter enough to take the lead in your own story.

If you recognise yourself in these signs, consider this your plot twist. Step into the centre frame, reclaim your script, and make your life the epic it was meant to be.

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